In a structured and calm world we create chaos, in order to feed our imagination and in order to create an environment we find less boring than the present.
In order to create chaos, artists create colors they can't find in their everyday lives. Writers create characters with passion that could never survive the real world. Plots are developed that would never unfold in actual tangible affairs.
Artists burn on to create a world they see only in thoughts and dreams, the burn to create a reality more intense and beautiful than the one that surrounds them. And the common public, pushed to take on a droning daily schedule, working for people so high up the chain that they will never actually see their faces, become filled with dissatisfaction and wonder. They burn to experience true sensation. True sensation that they imagine true because of photos they once saw in a decorative table assortment of magazines on travel or art, they may have nosed through them on the way to one of their daily office meetings.
Each type of person burning, burning from a contradiction that some other type has set up accidentally through their own portrayed view of a world they’d like to see.
If you truly play forward with your own hypotheses about life you will find many of your own internal contradictions. On any given day rain or shine, we question things. Some days we feel lost for the pure fact they we have found no stability financially. But we are hanging on the satisfaction that we are playing out our dream of pursuing various unique talents. Other days we will questions our talents. Sometimes we feel ‘different’; we think we are special so to say. We think our life is going to be different; it's going to matter, leave its mark or in some way shed light on some new way of thought.
But the truth. We are all creatures of self doubt and unduly unsatisfied. Never enough. We will always want more; we will always question ourselves and our peers. We will criticize populations for closed mindness even in the midst of our own self deprivation. We will jab stereotypes at passerby’s who will undoubtedly be doing the same. Everyone thinks there different; everyone thinks they have something to offer. But maybe if there were fewer thinkers and more doers’ things would be different.
I watch my friends sit on their talents, I watch color fade, I watch songs go unheard, I watch art become hidden in backrooms of art garages, I watch people shoot for the skyline instead of the stars, I watch people give up before they have even given in. I watch myself do this sometimes. We are taught to create a strong stable plan and work hard at fulfilling it. We aren’t taught so much to adapt to a changing plan as we become more of who we are. I change each day, I change each time I read, or paint, or take a photo. My life isn’t motionless. It wasn’t meant to be, but that’s what most of our generation has become. Things mature to quickly, people change hobbies to often without a mild second thought. We are all guilty. It’s a fast-forwarded but motionless generation. Things come too easily, so they go just as easily. We are taught to not hang out to much. We are taught to settle. Fuck that.
I understand the validity. I do. I get it. There is a point. I mean, there will always be someone who will attest to accept. Someone will always find a better plot, a better color scheme, a more portraying climax, a finer pitch, a better remix, and a higher way of thought. There will always be something better. But that doesn’t mean that we just give up. We don’t just lose of individuality in fear of a more original concept. It’s cowardly, isn’t it? I meant what’s the point?
I mean every day I look into unknown mediums for advice. For an idea, for a catalyst. I find a lot of imagination in philosophy. But then again philosophers of the past were clearly just unhappy people. They were unhappy with their present, and turned their portrayal of their generation’s contradictions, into our present acceptance of thought. We choose our favorites, we all relate to some sort of philosophy: Socrates, Kant, Marx, and Thoreau. We hastily adopt their way of thinking instead of creating our own.
Past and present, history and current affairs are all contradictions to one another. Life is moving. Nothing stands immobile, nothing congeals. It's all ever moving and modified. Trying to use the past novelty on today's doubts is like trying to use a type writer to play your favorite record.
If you can grasp that notion that you’re not meant to understand. That you are meant to ask questions. That that means your living, your breathing. And if you are able to accept that you must accept. Then life wouldn't seem so bleak. Advice, although comforting is only useful if you’re apt enough to create your own thought process. We aren’t meant to just adopt words like a sponge. There has to be some kind of filter. Without that we are all just living organisms of the past, with better technology and tighter clothes. I can’t accept that. I’d like to believe common day thought is a little more advanced than that.
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