Waste of Time......

A thought, one thought, one moment, one action, one idea……can cause a monumental change in the way you process your thoughts, your psyche…..in essence you. That’s happened to me before; it’s happened to you, it’s happened to each of us. When you’re just sitting there thinking, sometimes, you think hmmm I could do this or that’s just not me, there is no way I’d be interested it that, or there’s no way I’m strong enough for that. Then one day you just adjust, something inside you ignites and something changes. We aren’t meant to understand it, but the strongest of us are the ones that are able to adapt to the change. The ones of us that are inspired to embrace the unobserved and new.

I look back on some of the decisions I have made, and some of the ones I haven’t yet made. I look back on the things I once found pleasure in, and the things I still don’t. I look at the people who shaped my being, the people that touched my heart, and the people that broke it. And I appreciate every step I’ve taken. When you let your body and mind hold in hate for people then you only hurt yourself. I have been there, I have been broken, and we all have. But at some point you have to let go, you have to know that there was a reason, you have to know that life goes on. Everyone seems to welter in their own pain, forgetting that we all go through the same progressions at different rates and different speeds in this short life. The longer you let the past inhibit the present, the longer your mind will be stifled and congested with unnecessary baggage. So just let it go, let it all just float out into the universe. You had it for long enough, let someone else deal with it. It’s made you grow, right? Let someone else learn from it. Some of the most uninspired moments in my life were spent dwelling on old arguments, old loves, and old news. Get over it, best advice anyone ever gave me. Life goes on, and on, and on, and on. And whatever it is that you think is so horrendous in your life at the moment, I can almost guarantee you that someone has been through far worse, so stop being selfish.

People are so accustomed to keeping negative influences in their life. We congratulate those that don’t as if it’s a myth to be able to let our baggage go. We award it, it’s almost if we put it in a scrapbook and honor it every day. I mean what is it about being human that makes us so attached to misery. If you had a job and you hated it and you got fired, then why are you upset? Why feel like a failure, you didn’t belong there anyhow. If you loved someone, and they broke your heart, don’t find comfort and solidity in them for the next five years just because you’re afraid to let go. Just because you loved someone or something doesn’t mean you owe the rest of your life to that memory. You can appreciate something and love it, and when it no longer makes you happy ….let it go. No one is going to judge you if you don’t look back, they will probably be jealous of the strength you possess to simply walk away. I think it’s probably the hardest thing for most of us and it should be the easiest. Something makes you unhappy…..walk away. Don’t return, don’t grieve, and don’t make a memory bank. Move on, let it go, appreciate it while it lasted and……let it go.

Then again the most inspirational moments in my life have been in times of complete freedom from regret or anxiety. Worrying about trivial matters is just a way of resisting movement. We get bored in our everyday lives so we fixate on these things that don’t mean anything to us, we find something to worry about, gossip about, talk about, and criticize. We find anything that will take our mind of what matters; we find comfort in the old so that we don’t have to adjust to the new. All it does in stifle time and lag it along until you’re ready to face reality. What’s the point, you may as well get to work?

It’s a very disgusting thing, such a waste of time. All the time I have spent worrying about the actions of others, worrying about people’s perception of me, worrying about nothing, worrying about issues I created in my own mind. Such a waste. If I could take all that time back and create something worth meaning, create something positive, really just create anything I’d take back all that wasted time in a heartbeat. But I know now what I didn’t know then, so I’ll just start all over again.