Invictus......

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

El tibio recuerdo.......

In an instant everything changed  

In an instant I forgot all blame

 

In a moment you became a dream
In an instant everything was less than it seemed

In an instant the change eluded me

Because for once you didn’t seem so real
For once it all seemed so un-ideal

When you walked away, it was as if you had never been there at all
It’s at this realization I finally let down my wall

Nothing to be scared of anymore
It was all a mild illusion before

You were just a reverie of something I thought I knew
But like most, I made a mistake, I never had a clue …………

Turned Tables......

Excuse me while I express amusement at your concave words
Down the hall, your screams, we all heard

This is what you get; this is what you’ll get
Live your life with lies, but you’ll soon regret

Don’t call, text or come around me anymore
This isn’t your time to try and even the score

What’s done is done
And talking to you is just no longer any fun

Your rambling lines, of loss and confusion
I apologize, but my life no longer welcomes your intrusion

In the past I’d see something that reminded me of you, and I’d smile
Now that the truth has been discovered, it’s been a while

I don’t want to touch you; I don’t want your kiss
Most importantly I do not want this…….


Someone who robs me of my dreams
Someone who acts to be someone they are not meant to be
Someone how wipes the smile from my face
Someone who’s brought me such humiliation and disgrace
Someone my friends hate
Someone who’s made me sit around and wait


I used to sit for hours trying to understand your choices
But now I’ve lost my luster for your voice

I no longer have to urge to have you in my life
This was never supposed to be my fight

You pushed, you played and you did your own thing
But now it’s my time shine, it’s my song to sing

So turn around, walk away like you did so many times before
Because this ship has sailed and is going on tour

Goodbye past, goodbye you, I can’t say it’s been too much fun
But no longer can you keep me from running free and playing in the sun…..

A Mothers Lament.....

So if you know me , you know my mother hasn't been a part of my life since I was 16 but........this weekend I had a chance to reunite with my sister. We were seperated when we were 10. I visited Dallas and Gunter (off the grid) and I got to do a little soul searching. Britney (my sister) had photos and poems from my childhood that I never saw and she shared them with me. And although my mother and I do not collide in this world, I saw her words come alive in a poem she wrote to my father when he passed. I remember the dream that she had after he passed away and I believe this is her reaccountance of the dream. I guess my creative and artistic side came from her. Here are her words..........

Whispers of My Angel (Dedicated to Randy Fillip My Loving Husband)

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I thought I heard someone cry.
Then when I had awoken I realized it was only I.

In a dream I was running, it was a dark and lonely place.

And someone was following but, I could not see his face.

He was calling out for me not to be afraid.

Breathlessly I kept running trying to get away.

Then suddenly I heard footsteps closing in on me.

I turned around shocked by whar I'd turned to see.

Jesus was smiling, reaching out his hand to help.

There are no words, for I knew what you felt.

He said he heard me crying and didn't want me to be alone.

He'd help me through the darkness, and help me make it home.

And when the dream had ended he'd set my burdens free.

There will be no more crying, you can always trust in me.

There will be no more heartaches was what I heard him say.

And there will be no more running I'll carry you all the way.

..............By Michelle Fillip..................

I never knew this side of her, but I guess it was lost with my father. In any regards its beautiful and it came from her heart. Ill keep it forever. I'd like to remember her this way.......

The Stranger

I know your smile, but I dont understand your frown

I like to look towards your words when I'm down

I dont quite trust you, but I still love your face

Its hard to think my times at waste

Your words turn my heart in an unknown way

I know I shouldn't stay but I find it numbing to walk away

Your actions heal my soul

But your familiarity makes me feel whole

Your someone I never really understood

But I always hoped that one day I could

Its unclear to my mind what draws me in

But for some reason by better judgement is tested again and again

I lose my objectivity

And begin to feel subjectively

Its an unrealistic dream

And its more than it seems

Its not real and neither are you

This strange presence will soon become unglued

My mind battles my heart

It has from the very start

For you walked by once and I never caught your name

Your a stranger to me, my thoughts are only mine to blame

Life Block

Move on to another day, to a whole new town, to a whole new way

We all reach a point in our lives where time seems to stand still

Where taking a certain path momentarily alters our willingness to move forward

Our thoughts feel cluttered, our hearts restless, our souls incomplete

Nothing makes sense except for the fact that we are utterly at a loss for reaction

At this point everything seems to lose its color, everything seems harder than before

In moments we find truth, but surely again soon enough we lose sight of it

The answer may not lay in view but a hint of it glistens in the forefront of our mind

But in those moments we arent paying attention, for instead we are taking solace in feeling sorry for ourselves

In that moment we lose everything, we lose sight of reality

We lose sight of oppurtunity, chance, and fate

One moment, one chance, one fateful affinity can be lost becuase of our own selfish stupidity

The strongest of us are still weak to these moments, but its reaction from these moments that defines our character

Its what we decide to do in that moment that makes us bigger than the rest

I know myself, I know me, I forgot that for a moment

I forgot my strength, my capability, my pride, my drive, my character

Most importantly in life one should never ever forget who he or she is

When you forget who you are, when you forget what you stand for.....you lose

You lose everything

Hard times will come but most importantly from them you have to learn how to stand again

With better balance

Better agility

Better intelligence

I go through these moments where I cant pick up a pen, or type a note

Times where I dont have the strength to come from out under my covers

Times where I need a shoulder or an ear

We all do, its human, its natural

But life can't be put on hold because you have 'life block'

Its time to make a decision, its time to move on or move up

It's time...........